An Open Letter to Dennis Miller (Part I)

Dear Dennis,

Dude, what is it with the synchophatic pandering every night? Okay, so CNBC gave you a live audience. You seem to be more worried about the applause now than the aplomb. Get off your high-horse, Denny. You're a star, you've made it, we love you, now quit lolly-gagging and rant.

I myself would never stoop to such tricks.

Your Fan and Brother,
The Raving Lunatic

[Click here to e-mail applause--now, I'm waiting!]

Idol Hands

Well, its official, I'm an idol worshipper. Now before you think, "Hey, he's hip! That's so retro, so tribal." That's not what I'm talking about. It's been quite obvious that I've been spending too much time wallowing at the altar of self-pity and self-love. The formula I used was really quite simple:

Idol of Self = I think I'm pretty great, you should too.

In reality, this is a formula for disaster. That wiley sage C.S. Lewis said (paraphrased): Put first things first and you'll get second things thrown in. Put second things first and you'll lose both first and second things. Basically, priorities count. This may sound not-so-retro, and perhaps a bit antiquated to modern ears, but I have to start putting God first.

Oh yeah, I know, you'll probably quit reading now. You're so sophisticated, so hip, next thing you'll be worried I'll start publishing tracts here. Nothing could be further from the truth. The goal here is to rave, rant, and let off steam. That's not changing. However, reality must burst forth once in a while. I cannot continue to worship self and expect things to go well.